you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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