why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
how drunk are you?
Several
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
