it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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