how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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