you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
