you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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