Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
