you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
