Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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