Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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