i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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