I wish I could teleport
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
