i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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