I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize