So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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