I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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