We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We had sex on a dog bed..
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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