$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
