fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm gonna fight the coyote
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
