She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing