i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
