Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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