would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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