hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
