Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
