new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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