is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
