Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
