so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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