I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
