If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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