im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
