Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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