Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
