Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
