THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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