Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
