Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Everclear isn't food dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You are a genius and a whore.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize