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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Tonite tequila might call you

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Be prepared

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Sunday is the day of rest.

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom

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• (425): View more from Washington

  'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.

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• (716): View more from New York

  It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?

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• (585): View more from New York

  I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE

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• (954): View more from Florida

  When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation

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