i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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