i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize