I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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