I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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