At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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