wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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