I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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