His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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