Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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