Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize