I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
