Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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