No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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