whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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