So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
