So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Come see our sink grown plant.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
