What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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