What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
