I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
