anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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