Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
