Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
FUCK WHALES
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
