A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
