im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
